Here and There Ramble Rant

its amazing. intentions. actions. relations trashed. significant others taking over. self rightious. childish. everyone's looking for something. everyone is in it for themselves. relationships of past reviewed in different light. funny how much can change in one night. the influences brought in. begged for. created. the cycling of loves. of life. people stepping in only because they realized you realized they stepped out. sensing their lack of presence in your life. showing up-popping in just to remind. the phonies of this space. the shit stirring non-verbal communication. the intentional bring up but don't finish - say but not say. child heart social yet adult heart work. always older - always confusing me. ones coming back - i guess we'll see how this will be. then there is the new. thank god for you. new live in. new all of a sudden. the one that frieghtens so. so my fault though. i scare myself. the ones that have seem to keep tapping my shoulder. keep tripping me. won't be on their way. maybe they actually won't lie. maybe truth be told. maybe other dick they won't try. maybe actually out of the pants and into the heart that i am worthy of so. am i ready? will it be another one side? never partners, always competitors? and why won't you respond? why won't you get back to me? why won't you speak the whole truth instead of partial. always leaving things in the air. i think that people just don't care. enough.