first off... you know you are gay when you relate to the entire new kelly clarkson ablum. no in actuality it may not work for everyone but it will definitley work for some cuz i am one of them. this album has blown me away and was a staple for my entire trip home. there were times i had to force myself not to listen to it. judge all you want, i am not ashamed. it is my theme for most everything that has gone down in the last few months.
perfect timing.
Iowa...
i went back to iowa for what origianlly was supposed to be the 29th - the 3rd but i extended it last minute til the 6th for "theraputic" reasons. many actually, but none specific will be said outloud.i had a blast. it was really nice to be with old friends. it was refreshing. it was loads of fun - a week long party. (my body is still recovering) its good to see change and how people are different wether it be completely positive or not. as much as it breaks my heart its good to see that my friends and i can live our own lives. it sucks for me that most of them are living in the same state atleast so they get to see eachother more often. but its life. there is a significance in going back home. especially when you stil have so many people still there that you love. but it stings a bit when you start realizing the friendships that are gradually fading away and all because its just too difficult when i am not standing in front of them always. and the suprises of realizing new people that appreciate you more than you had realized. it was good. but i still, as i have all my life, had my moments where i "found myslef in crowded rooms - feeling so alone." but i will have those my entire life cuz i am an odd bird. [not to mention possibly on the spectrum ;)] that is all i have in me for now. shitty lil post.
love ~ me.
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