in exactly 3 days i will finally be a nomad nomore. god fucking bless america. i cannot believe it has been this long. its been hard at times. very hard. times where i have to force away a breakdown when i feel it coming on cuz i don't want to drive all the way to fuckin morrisville to hang out in a livingroom that isnt my own.
i still get very angry (and sad) that mi vanished in the middle of my struggles instead of being a support, especially when he was saying how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. and now its almost been half the time we were technically together since we haven't spoke which just makes me feel like i failed even more, and that ho gives a shit if i try to make things civil at this point. fuckin asshole. i just want to shake him and make him realize what he did to me. what it feels like. so maybe he won't do it again. and remain unhappy the rest of his life. anyway.
i am so excited to finally move in. i am not excited about unpacking all of my boxes and being slapped in the face with memories. i am looking forward to sleeping on a real bed consistantly.
gotta go.
peace.
love ~ me
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