whats going on?

you're gone. i'm missing. we can't be just like them. we are only us. and what we are is so much more. they watch and stare. wonder why we don't care. they say cuz you fit in. cuz i fit in. but they don't allow themsleves. we are just being ourselves. we do it well. especially together. but a side of me is turning into neither. its a thing i do these days. i'm sorry, i appologize in every way. but don't run from me cuz i do you. i told you how i work. you've known what you should do. draw me back the way you do every time. every moment on our own is drawing us towards the same line. you're gone. i'm missing. we can't be just like them. we are only us. and what we are is so much more.

just a little sumpin' that spilled out when i first sat down to blog. my thoughts never cease to amaze, confuse, excite, or sadden me at every moment these days. i'm tired. i have 2 boys that are high functioning, amzingly smart, and they adore me. but i feel really bad sometime because i feel like i can't keep up. i do. but i feel like they might sense that i feel like i might not be able to. i don't know why i am so tired. i'm blaming it on my weekend. the fact that its mid-summer. the fact that its the first week i have had a verbal camper that isn't aggressive and willingly / wants to participate in every activity. let alone 2 of them....which i can totaly handle. i love it actually. but everytime i sit down i could easily be asleep within one minute if i were to allow myself. maybe its my allergies or something....id on't know, i'm just hoping it goes away soon. anyway, my boys are great, jon and joshua. jon has already told me he's glad they hired me at camp, and thankyou for being his friend. and joshua teaches me all about science annd they both teach me about electronics. jon is a wiz at cars, he gave a presentation on how an engine works at school. but he lets me know more about cars everyday. and he is an excellent artist. he drew me a picture of the starsky and hutch car. they're great, i love them. they make me want to have children of my own. don't tell lyle....;] anyway. i need to get back to camp. everthing is beautiful. i hope everyone feels the same.

love ~ codesdabodes