i get to visit iowa tomorrow. i'll be in after 4pm. and i swear to you all i am going to do is relax, chill on the beach, drink some and hang out with a few wonderful people who love me and understand me. and i get to go to a weddign of two beautiful people. i'm going to sob though. i will be a blubbering mess.
i'm ready to visit iowa though. people here have lost all patience and professionalism. and i've lost a bit of respect for my two closest friends here. they are being stupid and they have shown me that my goings on are of no importance to them. i still call them friends but i'm just not as involved anymore.
speaking of not as involved lyle and i are no longer involved. its best i would not be able to satisfy him with enough attention when i got back anyway, that and he is being a little shady from time to time which only reminds me of what happened earlier this summer so i'm not fully trusting him and thats just dumb to try when i now i most likely never will. anyway. i suppose i'm pulling my old ways again but i'd rather...i need to take care of a lot of things anyway so i don't need to bring anyone else into all of that and i would probably just use them as an excuse not to get things done. i'm out i'll talk to you later.
love ~ codes.
ana is trying to creep back in. maybe because of all the changes about to happen. maybe because of the sin they are in. but i'm trying just as hard to get rid of her as i am trying hard to nurture her. its a battle i've always won. except for that one time that i got close. but i know better these days. i've only got me i need to show.
No comments:
Post a Comment