so here i am in jasons 3 bedroom home...  i think i spent a total of 14 hours on his couch.  last night i watched "a home at the end of the world" (with collin farrell of course) it was kind of  a sweet movie.  i didn't really know what to expect of it, but i enjoyed it.  collin farrell's character was so sweet, kind of a little messed up...but sweet.  so now i am blasting some of my music, jason has speakers that are the width of me twice and stand about 4 feet high.  so needless to say they sound great.  i meant to do a lot of things today but its my day off and i kind of just wanted it to be that way.  so obviously i did.  cuz i have done not one thing. 

its about 60 degrees outside so i'm a little bummed that i haven't left the house.  the closest i go was opening the door to get the mail.

i'm going to take in a few of my moms old 8mm films to be converted to vhs.  one is of her and her sisters when they were kids the rest are from 1981 or so, so i'll get to see me crawling around at one year old and chad at like 3 or 4.  its going to be nutts.  i think i might cry a little watching mom as a little girl...

so christmas was o.k.  its a little bit like a circus going home and participating in all of that.  i think chad would agree with me.  so tensions could get kind of high.  i went to my fathers for the first time in 5 years.  i saw some of that side of the family for the first time in 5 years also.  and the girl dad cheated on my mom with.  lets just say she made sure to be super nice.  my little cousin  jake, well hes 11 or 12, is quite possibly autistic / aspbergers....so they don't really know how to treat him so they basically keep him with his video games or watching football mostly by himself.  he didn't get to sit with us at dinner, he ate a premade sandwhich afterward.  hes cute as shit.  and such an interesting, misunderstood little man.  one minute they would be yelling at him and the next they would be so nice, in true means family fashion, but talking to him like he was a 5 year old because they didn't understand his "slow"ness.  i hung out with him a bit while i was there.  and it just made me want to take him with me.  they don't let him have friends because he gets really angry sometimes and hits people.  this poor child needs someone like me.  but they don't want to admit that there is anything wrong except that he is a little "slow."  my grandmother is basically dying.  she looks the worst i have ever seen her look.  shes a tiny tiny woman anyway...we are talking 5'4" and always 100 - 110lbs.  she weigs 90lbs now and is on oxygen at all times.  and she shakes constantly, she says its because of the medication she is on.  i only went because she wanted to see me and i wanted to see jake and josh.  my cousin josh is now almost as tall as me but weighs 180+lbs.  its crazy to see him like that, he drives now too.  everyone says he looks like me.  and he does.  he just needs to get some braces.  he has the exact same shape of jaw and teeth as i did when i was his age and i had braces for 11 months...it'll do him some good.  hes a good looking guy.  and hes a good guy too, after being brought up by the two most rediculous individuals as parents he has turned out really well.  and hes still very smart.  he wants to go to the university of iowa on academic scholorship and play basketball also.

my brother brought me back to iowa city and we hung out with our friend cara (my old boss) and then i invited darrel and erik and jason to meet him too.  i loved how everyone got along.  it was nice to just sit back and see everyone getting along, not even participating just observing it happen.  then my brother got drunk.  i stopped drinking cuz i felt a little buzzed and did not want to get drunk.  and then i think my bro was flurting with my friend jason....weird...i'm not used to the whole seeign my brother with my friends thing.  he has a boyfriend though so don't get me wrong.  they live together.  as a matter of fact they are moving to chicago in april.  great, huh? i leave in may!  anyway sunday night was fun. 

ok i guess i should go.  i need to shower i think i'm going out for appitizers with darrel and erik and then maybe out afterward.

(there tanner, hows that....good enough? probably not. ;] )

i'm out!  Happy New Year everyone!  have fun - be safe!!!

love ~ cody tyler

"spirit is very fragile, broken easily but not impossible to mend"