what the fuck has happened???

i don't know how but i have done it. funny that it is right before i leave too. but its definately happened. i've been here since october this time around and i have managed to stay out of the gay community... shit it wasn't hard nobody ever fucking spoke to me, but now some how, i am a part of it. and the people that once hated me now call me to hang out. i wasn't looking for this. how did i let this happen. i suppose i have become a little nicer since i first moved back, i did have a horrible attitude towards some things. but i made a point to not get involved. but i found a few people that i created a little team with a very small team but then slowly it snowballed. its still not large but for me it is. i haven't hung out with this big of a group of people since the first time around in iowa city...but we were a family. this isn't a family. but its fun. best part about it is that i don't have time to get really close to any of them so it won't be hard to leave when the time comes. i'll miss a couple of them but it won't hurt as much as say... darrel.

i guess i will miss this guy shane that i have met in the last few weeks. hes a great person. a genuinely good gay guy like him is a rariety. there is no bit of production about him, hes kind and curtious clean and not perverted like the rest of us. but he still has a sense of humor. hes good peeps. hes sweet.

this shit always happens before i move. but i cannot wait to move. i only have 2 1/2 more weeks in iowa left. its fucking insane. i packed up most of my place except for clothes and c.d.s yesterday. i hate packing but i am pretty damn good at it. i should be considering i have moved 19 times in the last year and a half! there has been talk of another white trash going away party and then someone mentioned a barcrawl so we might [might] combine the two. i'm sure i'll write about it if it happens or is going to happen. i need to get going, time for work...or should i say time to get paid to hang out and listen to music and watch movies (tonight its going to be gremlins 2, one of my boys loves gizmo) my job is so challenging....
peace.

love ~ cody