and now its black...

my hair that is.

lots going on but right now i just want to say that i am slowly dying. we think i might have an ulcer in the top half of my stomach. its painful. vera-vera painful.

lots of plans have been made and are being made but i cannot write them on here cuz there are people i need to tell things to in person and i don't want them to read about it on this thing. but - i have made a rather important decision based on many things and i believe my decision to be the smartest and most responsible and mature choice i could make right now. and i'm actually a little excited about it. i'm just ready to hit the play button again instead of remaining on pause here still. i'm just ready to be with people i chose to be with instead of who i have to be with cuz some of these people frustrate the hell out of me. as in the ones that hate it here and cannot or should i say refuse to have and give their campers a great time. it pisses me off. and then a lot of these people are in school and loaded with mommy and daddy's money and i have no idea what thats like. i have no idea what it is like to call my moma and talk to her about how bad i want this bedding from so and so and what am i going to do with my living room decor. yes i like to do things to my apartments but my mother is usually never involved except when i ask her and kevin if i can borrow the van to move my shit. or if i ask her if she has an extra table or piece of furniture that i can use. weird stuff. i like it my way. it may be harder but i prefer it.

gotta' go back to bed. its only 8pm!! but it hurts too much to be concious.

love ~ cody tyler