to: he who stole my phone.

you silly little hillbilly. you hang out with us all night. you make friends with our friends. you tell us stories of where you work and your dad (you are a perry jr.) you tell her of how your phone's display is busted and you can't see the numbers. you tell us of the war and how you hate it, how no i don't agree with gays but im ok with them. then you hump my friend. then you leave early in the am as i lay pretending to sleep so i don't have to face the awkwardness of eye contact the morning after with a random war hating "non homophobic" hillbilly vet. and in that moment you shut off every noise and slid into my memory and tore out 3 chapters in the middle. my phone. no big deal right? well kinda. numbers lost and retrieved. pictures and videos of christina and john - among other things - that i will never see again. i loved that phone for what it was worth... time to move on i guess. but you forgot. you told us your full name (showed us your id even) and told us where you lived and worked. dumbie. we tracked you down, your friend gave us your number. yet you still deny. who does that. just say it was an accident, you are so clearly caught. that just seems so pathetic to me. all because you needed a new one so you could see your numbers. ever heard of insurance borrowing someones old phone, or hey - getting a new phone. i understand my phone was pretty irresistible. i hope you enjoy its little battery glitches as well as i did. or the fact that sometimes it sings to you even though you put it on vibrate. i hope you enjoy the vibration. its one of the most powerful ones out there. hope you enjoy madonna since there was a loads on there. but wait i made the phone useless to you within the hour that you took it. cuz you just needed the shell. so you took out my memories and threw them on the roadside somewhere i'm sure. such a big manly man with your army and your war and over sized truck with the over sized tires. you are the epitome of the stereo typed male that has big toys to make up for something else not so big. funny thing is we have confirmation of the fact thanks to my friends sloshing pint fulls - fields of grass -judgement. i know i am not supposed to judge. but its people like hillbilly phone thief that make it so hard. because everything they do is robotic and straight out of a stereotype manual. just remember, cuz i know it all too well, (which may be a bit of irony) karma truly is a bitch sometimes.

peace.
~ me