first off i just want to say things are good. i feel i have to put this disclaimer up because apparently if you write dark stories you are only dark and there must not be any light.... but that is not the case. you just happen to get most of the dark because people don't like to hear other people "complain or bitch." as we are known to call it. either way i call it venting. and i am never the one to tell someone they complain too much or bitch too much. i feel there is a very definite line of when someone does it too much and i tend to not surround myself with those kind of people.
my art is going well. i will soon be selling another $2000+ worth. (2 pieces) and those alone will get me some good exposure. so thats very exciting. plus i've just been feeling very creative lately and have a series that i am working on. there are going to be a few pieces each of people in my life that have made an impact on my life positive or negative. basically in the same general style but the gist is that each piece is going to show you how that person presented them self to me - positively or negatively. aside from all that i'm healthy and happy all around. a little bored of certain things from time to time but i'm taking care of it! some really good and exciting plans are in the works. i'll update later.... ;)
so here goes....
can i tell you how much it hurts when you leave me to think every bit was a lie. that i would still never say "i told you so" that it saddens me that after all of this i have to pray you've learned something. that i have to even ask this question which leads me to believe you picked up nothing.
is it shame or pride or just your ego alone thats larger than your whole life?
can i tell you how a man would just say so. can i tell you how i feel i'm at the playground with this. how i'm scared for you cause i care for you. but how after all is said and done you make me more scared for the next soul to come. how it scares me that i still feel the need to ask this question.
is it shame or pride or just your ego alone that is larger then your whole life?
can i tell you that i had to push it all so far down and get rid of all of it at that time in order to move on. how now i have two "in loves" that have died. how i always suspected you never heard a word i said. you just saw the sex instead. that it makes me ill that i invested so much in someone i now have to ask -
is it shame or pride or just your ego alone that is larger than your whole life?
can i tell you how the memory of winter saddens me to the core. but the thought of you not being there this time still saddens me even more. that just because i have been so angry with this pen doesn't mean my entire world is filled with hatred. but that i'm mad at myself for still wanting a simple answer from the man whose words used to spread like cancer. so with balls or heart or this very stroke of your ego, which is it -
your shame your pride or your ego alone thats larger than your ability to see light?
that is all for today. its time for me to blow this joint!
peace.
love ~ me.
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