Sitting at the local ymca, waiting on my client, waiting on my evening without mi. mi is in the M
idwest til Sunday hoping to change his life. I sit in the east coast o.c. still waiting for the change about to come. Good changes, exciting changes for both of us. Weird changes, scary and somewhat sad changes as well. Don’t know what to think don’t know what to feel. Know that I am thinking non stop about the upcoming shift. The upcoming saddened excitement. Waiting for family to show before I move in with my other family. So many things shoving their way about my mind. The stress showing on my skin on my sex. Working on my gluttony the American way filling in the spaces I put off earlier today. But doing it only in half my usual way. Allowing the distractions to hang out like best friends. Trying to scare myself in the shadows of my unknown. Rambling my thoughts into a mumble. Mumbling my words into an idea of a thought. Constantly trying to figure out the window to my door. Fumbling around in the dark, arms stretched in front of me. Endlessly getting smacked in the face by these moving walls. These vanishing walls. These questioning walls. Wondering where my priorities went, where were they to begin with. Or have we even met?
idwest til Sunday hoping to change his life. I sit in the east coast o.c. still waiting for the change about to come. Good changes, exciting changes for both of us. Weird changes, scary and somewhat sad changes as well. Don’t know what to think don’t know what to feel. Know that I am thinking non stop about the upcoming shift. The upcoming saddened excitement. Waiting for family to show before I move in with my other family. So many things shoving their way about my mind. The stress showing on my skin on my sex. Working on my gluttony the American way filling in the spaces I put off earlier today. But doing it only in half my usual way. Allowing the distractions to hang out like best friends. Trying to scare myself in the shadows of my unknown. Rambling my thoughts into a mumble. Mumbling my words into an idea of a thought. Constantly trying to figure out the window to my door. Fumbling around in the dark, arms stretched in front of me. Endlessly getting smacked in the face by these moving walls. These vanishing walls. These questioning walls. Wondering where my priorities went, where were they to begin with. Or have we even met?
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