So hear i am, its saturday, afternoon to normal people but still morning for me. i've only been awake for a little over an hour. sick. but all i want to do, is be gross, lounge around the house in my p.j.'s watching t.v., and eat lots of food and drink soda. but i cannot. the lovely couple just got groceries, so of course they have to eat some of them, in the living room smacking away while i hide myself in my bedroom or at the computer. its frustrating. its one thing about me moving that i kind of am happy about. not that they are bad people but it doesn't feel like my place, and it wouldn't as long as they are here. but i move in a week anyway so what the hell do i care.
last night was exceptionally creepy. partially my fault. i went to hang out with sean (who now i hear from somebody he dated that he is psycho - but ofcourse you know how the ex thing goes). chris, the barstool boy, was there trying to make me out as the bad guy cause he can't be an adult and admit that his only interest in me was to fuck me and since i didn't give that to him the first night he no longer needs to communicate with me except to try and be cute and put blame on me. "are you here on a date with your boyfriend" pleease....give me a break. so then when him and this guy were getting down on the dance floor i walked up and said, "hey aren't you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?" and then my drunk ass said something along the lines of "hey, enjoy his landlords hottub and him trying to get you to come on his chest or his face (i can't remember which he said he would have liked me to do)." yeah, he left with his twink while i was being harassed by another boy. and aparently this guy doesn't like chris either. i got harassed tooo much last night. i think so much it made me a little too bitchy. i managed to give the wrong impression in the end to one of the only guys that wasn't a creep that i thought was kind of cute. i literally had to tell this one guy to leave me alone cuz i didn't want to talk about how much he whatever.... "you know how i feel, i'm not just interested in sex. i'll leave you alone, do you want me to leave you alone? o.k. well, you know how i feel, i really like you and stuff.. i'll leave you alone though if you want me too..." all while i was nodding yes for him to leave and then i just had to say "look, i just want to have fun right now, there are a lot of people i want to bounce around to and say hey to and all that. i really do not want to stand here and talk about this ever again." i saw my friend manny who is so beautiful, i wish these other assholes hadn't taken up my time and space so i could have spoken with him more. i met up at the dick bar with this guy i've known for like 2 years. he was a major douchebag for a while but he's balanced himself out a lot over the years. i kind of have this protective thing about him. he could still be creepy but last night was o.k.
don't get me wrong i had a lot of fun last night there was just a whole creep factor surrounding the entire eve. anyway i'm out of focus so i'm done.
~ codes
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