wondering why....

once apon a time there was a boy. a boy that thought his life was just fine. and it was on the very surface. but then something happened to the boy and he realized he was hiding a lot of things from himself. he thought he fixed the problem but he had only fixed the problem at hand and the problem crossed over into new territories within the boy's reach. the boy would get a hold of it only for it to slip out of his hands and lie waiting patiently for the boy to find it again. and the boy would everytime. then one day the boy got a hold of the problem but found that he wasn't doing anything to fix it. and then looked around him and realized that all this fumbling with the same problem and spreading this problem around like a disease through other areas of his life he had tarnished a great deal of himself. it wasn't an impossible correction to make...but this time the boy didn't know how to fix the problem at hand. for the problem had been resting in the boys hands for so long it had soaked through his skin, and now ran deep. leaving the boy knowing ultimatley what is right and what is wrong but finding it much easier to go with habit and routine. even though he wanted not too very much. but he didn't want his diseased problem to touch anyone else, he didn't want to infect everyone with his problem. the boy remains scared and confused. wondering if he will continue to infect, continue to run with his problem or away from his problem and never get it fixed. and always, always wondering why he started this problem in the first place. after all it was his choice all along.