so weak yet so strong.

its amazing how one can be so weak yet so strong all at the same time. basically i am talking about my weekend, not last but the one before. will i ever learn. i had it there for a while. but its all about environment and situation. i'm feeling more on track today.

my friend kara started a blog and i am so happy for her. i think it will do a lot of good. she has no idea, or probably just doesn't believe or realize it yet (even though i've mentioned to her numerous times) but our lives are becoming so familiar. she is at the beginning of a road i started down a while back. and i am happy for her. she is great.

i went to iowa city last weekend for darrels b.day. of course i had an excellent time. but i am really glad i don't live there. good christ! i get so wasted while i am there. i don't think its wasted the way it was when i did live there, i think its just actual letting go and having a great time with beautiful people, my friends, that are left there.

i also saw jason from l.a. while i was there. i miss him so much. he admitted to why he hasn't been talking to me much. it was what i figured it was but it still hurts. i emailed him and i am hoping that this time he will email me back. i have so much i want to talk to him about. i'm just afraid it is too late.... like hes already put me out for too long that he can't bring me back in. i hope not.

anyway, i need to get to work, i just wanted to put down a few things.

i'm so not creative these days....give me some more time. i got lots on my mind. oh, that reminds me of something i want to write about but its about a person that reads this so i don't know if i should. i'll just say.... shade factor +10, yeah, a lil'bit like that.

buh bye ~ codes