just a quickie...

things are getting stressful but a lot of it i'm bringing on myself. by procrastination and stupid shit. i'm sad inside while i await the 15th.

i'm going to iowa city in a couple of hours to see my friend meghan (most importantly) but theres also darrel and matty, and ofcourse jared (meghans boyfriend) and erica and mitchell, that is if i see him, that i will hopefully get to spend a lot of time with too. i know that i should be greatful that i have this one night to do it but its only one night and thats not nearly enough for me. meghan leaves to travel around the same time i will get back from n.c. which means tonight could be the last time we see eachother until january. the thought of that churns ma'belly. that will be the longest we have not seen eachother since we have known eachother. that makes me sad. it also makes me feel kind of old.

thursday night claire decided to come out with me. i was just going to go down to the garden to see lyle but anytime i can spend with claire is time well spent. she met me at my place and we had ah beer. both of us teared up a couple of times in the half hour we were here while talking about my move. then we headed down to the bar. lyle was there and happy to see claire as is everyone who knows her and even a few that don't. while we were there we did a few shots, claire invited lyle to her b.day party and i told them both to fuck off,(since i won't be there) we had a few drinks, made more than a few, "me and you", or "me with your clothes on" comments about certain customers of the bar. let me tell you if it would have been us a few years ago we would have been meeaaan! either that or we wouldn't have been caught dead there....;]but we are much softer these days. but we had fun. then ma started gettin' tired so i told her she should could go since i was waiting for lyle anyway. we hugged. lyle came out from behind the bar to tell her goodbye and they chatted for a while. as they were chatting i was chanting in my head "ohmagawd i'm gonna' cry, ohmagawd i'm gonna' cry. don't cry don't cry don't cry" well when they got done and lyle came up to me i said, "find me a place to hide i'm 'bout to bawl." so i went into the back room and sobbed for a few and then ripped open a box of napkins cleaned myself up and threw my snot rags behind th shelf and went out to be social. i'm sure i looked stoned. but anyway moral to the story.....

cody's going to be a blubbering idiot when he leaves!!! especially since i cry at the drop of a hat already!

i gotta' go i need to pack stilll and get ready for iowa city. i'll write more next week cuz i'll have more time.
i love you all ~ cody