oh.... my blind gay midget is becoming a man. its his birthday today. i belive we are going to go out or something tomorrow. i think we might actually do one of those birthday specials just for the hell of it. and because a lot of people are poor. doesn't really matter to me. i'll have a good time either way.
i have to do an over night tonight. but thats fine cuz i have this beautiful day to do what ever i want. its in the 50's, i believe, and that is fuckin' ggggrrreeaat! i wish it would stay but something tells me that since it is only february, it will not.
so my "roommate" is fucking crazy. i now make sure i lock my door at all times while i am in my room. he seems to think that the new landlords are trying to take over the world. or atleast his world. those were his words. all i know is that one night i come home from work and i'm changing the light bulb in the bathroom and he comes in all happy and thanks me for changing it and then the next thing i know he is screaming at me in the hallway about our new landlords. he was so in to it at one point he turned to the air and actually spoke to it like it was our new landlord. and the entire time he is doing so he must have forgot to swallow cuz he formed this drool and didn't seem to notice that he had a constant string of drool hanging from his mouth. i think he was drunk too. and then he did it again just 2 nights ago when i got home from meghan's at like 12am. creep. hes all trying to "investigate" (his words) cuz hes "gonna' bring these fuckers down and expose them and this shit they are trying to get away with." literally all that is going on is they are showing the apartments for next fall. i happen to be ok with the new landlord cuz they are going to tell interested people that my unit is available june 1st. which would help me out a lot. cuz simone (pronounced by her as semen) wasn't going to do that for me. she wasn't even going to let me sublet at all. so i would have had to pay for june and july when i wasn't even there. i guess i might still have to but hopefully not. i'll keep my fingers crossed.
i have had some interesting conversations with the boy in south carolina that i talk on the phone with all of the time. we've easwed up a bit, we even talked about the, and that is just fine. hes such a sweet heart. and he is really excited for me to come to south carolina. so hes strating to get me even more excited then i already was to go. it should be a really nice weekend. its 3 weeks from today. damn i wish it were today.
i have been having the craziest dreams in the last couple weeks. lots of ex's and one with courtney love. and then just really weird shit in general. its kind of fun remembering them but i wonder what it all means. its actually prompted me to contact a couple of my ex's. which is good.
things feel really good right now. there is only one thing that really bugs me and that is the topic of cocaine keeps popping up, either that or my bathroom will smell like cocaine or meth in the mornings for some reason. i don't think my "roommate" is doing it...it would take a lot of cocaine or meth to make a bathroom smell like that. so then i have these random little cravings. and i know it just an anorexic thing. i know i'm only wanting to want to do it because it might take off a few. but i'm not stupid. i'm not going to do it. besides i enjoy eating. a lot. and i have come to terms with that, mostly. i don't know, maybe it has something to do with melissa and kara and that whole thing. melissa has dissapointed a few of her friends in the past couple months and doesn't seem to care. so much so that we've noticed that it doesn't even seem to be the same melissa anymore. and melissa has never been so stupid. not in general...to herself.
melissa if you read this....you are right, i'm a pussy. i just can't bring myself to say this to you cuz i know you so well, and i know you already know, and i know exactly how you will respond to it. so much so that i can hear in my head what you are saying if you read this. i'm sorry. i love you, i always will, but this has happened, what, 2 other times already. i have no say, i have no part. i never did. you have made that clear to me. your priorities aer clear to me. and i hope its worth it. no matter what i hope you are happy.
on a liter note... i move to north carolina in 3 months and 20 days! god i should just start packing now just to get that shit out of the way. i hate packing! and i know i'll put it off as long as possible. oh shit that reminds me, i need to go so i can call my mom.
annabanana i love you, you still have me!!
love ~ cody tyler
5 comments:
eat shit.
per prior anonymous comment.....
obviously what was stated in this blog is true to some extent and someone in that little duo seems to be offended..i wonder who???
Honestly, I would be upset too if we were friends and you thoght that you couldn't call me but you thoght that you could berate me on your public and well-read journal.
It is possible, very possible that there is just more to it than you know- and I don't know shit about what is going on- but a little thing called "benefit of the doubt" has been known to save friendships. You don't have to be a sucker to trust others judgement when it pertains to their own life choices, it is, in fact- their life, so be there for her when she needs you and give her some space in the meantime.
I want to come and see you- and see the crazy army guy "roomate" I hope he spits while he yells at me.
c
claire is a smart woman.
I understand the nuturing instinct to protect friends. I understand being lied to in a way you cannot get past and can barely concieve of to a point where all things are erased but the truth behind the lie itself in that person who lied.
I understand jealousy and the human nature of self absorbed minds (which is all of us believe it or not).
Cody- I try not to read your blog very often unless something is mentioned to me and my curiousity takes over. but I just wanted to say that you don't have to right to assume, accuse, or adamently define ANYTHING you do not know. And you don't know, you have NO idea. I'm sorry I lied to you, if I could explain to you all parts of my life at the time to give you some understanding I would; but we both know you wouldn't hear it anyway. and maybe i just don't have the energy to make you listen. as for the other reference I will say this: we all have our crosses to bear. if a person truly takes those crosses and fights with determination to conquer their demons then it shows truth that this is what they want. I have a lot of crosses, a lot of demons. but i never stop fighting. you will think what you want, believe what you want, just like everyone else. but just try to accept that you may be wrong.
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