THE INDIFFERENCE THAT I FEEL...I GUESS.

i ran from my house that cannot contain me. from the men that i cannot keep. from my father who haunts me...even though he's basically gone. from my thoughts that never sleep. i ran from the noise and the silence. from the traffic on the street. i ran to the treetops, i ran to the sky...out to the lake. into the rain, that matted my hair, and soaked my shoes and skin. hid my tears, hid my fears......i ran to the forest, i ran to the trees. i ran and i ran, i was looking for me. i ran past the churches and the crooked old mail box. past the apple orchards and the lady that never talks. up into the hills i tran to the cemetary. and held my breath.....and thought about your death. i ran to the lake, up into the hills...i ran and i ran i'm looking there still. and i saw the crumbling tombstones. all the forgotten names. i tasted the rain, i tasted my tears. i cursed the angels i tasted my fears. and the ground gave way beneath my feet. and the earth took me in her arms. leaves covered my face. ants marched across, my back. black sky opened up.....blinding me. i ran to the forest. i ran to the trees. i ran and i ran, i was looking for me. i ran to the lakes and up to the hill. i ran and i ran, i'm looking there still.

and i smelt his burning flesh. his rotting bones. his decay. i ran and i ran. . . . . . . . i'm still running away.

originally writen by miss ciccone herself but rewritten with a friend of mine in mind by myself.

things are weird. people are weird. i had an excellent b.day but i'm left with an overwhelming feeling of something i cannot possibly even attempt to touch apon in my blog yet.

sarah and i had excellent conversation tonight about things. i had a nice (in a verbal assasination sort of way)conversation with manny this evening. i hope he truly realizes all that i was trying to get across to him.... who knows. i'm sure he thinks i am a creep anyway. ;] i had a great weekend all around. great friends, great things, some creeepy things, some weird things but all in all a great weekend. a great birthday weekend. cuz mine has actually lasted for 3 days now. i'm trying to see how long i can make it last. we'll see.

anyway....maybe if i figure out how to word things i'll write down more of my actual thoughts. more of what i kind of mentioned earlier.

love to all ~~~ codes